Interview with Dr Charley Ferrer America's BDSM expert
Dr Charley, you are known as America's BDSM Expert,
It was all started with my first therapy couple while I was still working on my Masters in Counseling Psychology. The couple were having relationship problems. The man had been suffering from impotency. As I was trying to get to the root of his problem, he said he started when he had desires to, "spank his girlfriend". I turned to the girlfriend and asked, "What do you think about that?" Her comment, "I think that would be okay." The next day they were called to say they were over the impotency issue, live was great, and they were taking a few days to enjoy their sex life. "
I thought I was hot stuff curing my patients in one session. However, when I discussed the therapy session with my colleagues and fellow students, they felt I should have advised her to seek shelter at a battered women's facility, have her press charges against him, or have her dissolve their union.
Here I was with the future therapists who were imposing their "moral values" instead of empowering their patients and understanding that there was more than one way to express your love and affection for another.
Since that day back in 1995, I 've been learning as much as I could Dominance and submission and educating others. I've been speaking before the World Congress of Sexology in Canada, the International Congress of Medical Providers in Venezuela, and the Chinese Sexual Association in China and across the US on sexual empowerment and Dominance and submission; BDSM to better serve their patients. This is the case in the BDSM as opposed to other forms of sexual expression? 59 I believe all forms of consensual sexual expression are normal and appropriate. As for Dominance and submission in particular, it holds a special place in my soul. You do not suddenly wake up one morning and discover you are Dominant or submissive. It's something you're born with; like being gay or lesbian. This is your sexual make up! Yes, there are many individuals out there that want to be "kinky" or "play at BDSM"; however, for the majority who embrace this lifestyle, BDSM is how they relate to the world. Being Dominant or submissive to another is what calls to you and "quiets the voices" as I jokingly tell others.
Why do you have a deep interest in BDSM as opposed to other forms of sexual expression?
I believe all forms of consensual sexual expression are normal and appropriate. As for Dominance and submission in particular, it holds a special place in my soul. You don’t suddenly wake up one morning and discover you are Dominant or submissive. It’s something you’re born with; like being gay or lesbian. This is your sexual make up! Yes, there are many individuals out there that want to be “kinky” or “play at BDSM”; however for the majority who embrace this lifestyle, BDSM is how they relate to the world. Being Dominant or submissive to another is what calls to you and “quiets the voices” as I jokingly tell others.
For me, being Dominant in my relationship and my interaction with others is natural. This does not mean "boss" everyone around; I only share my Dominance with those I consider appropriate. However, I found a romantic D / s relationship is what makes me happy.
Lots of people are concerned that BDSM may not be safe. Can you make some comments about that?
Participating in BDSM activities does come with some risks. That's where RACK comes into focus. (Risk Aware Consensual Kink) Many of the things we enjoy doing with our partners can lead to injuries or consequences. That said; crossing the street, participating in sports, going bungee jumping or diving has its risk as well.
I recommend anyone interested in exploring the BDSM play activities. This is not for your safety. In my opinion, educating yourself is a true sign of respect and love towards others.
You clearly work tirelessly and passionately providing education on relationships; what drives you to work so hard?
I remembered sitting in my bedroom at 15 years old staring at a picture I drew on my wall; a full live mural of a man tied to a post while two women in short shorts whipped him. I could not understand why I felt at peace. Everyone in my family. As the inscription in my book, BDSM The Naked Truth states, I'm passionate about providing education because I know what it's like to be one of those people who, "sat in the darkness, stared into the abyss and wondered," Am I normal ".
The answer is: YES YOU ARE!
Can you give any advice to erotic writers who want to share their writing with others?
Many authors are jumping on the bandwagon of BDSM without any clue. They write a scene in their novels because they think it's "hot" yet they do not have the right to do it the same way. BDSM is not just an erotic thrill, it's a lifestyle and a sexual identity for many who embrace Dominance and submission. I would advise authors to educate themselves and do their research as they would with any other lifestyle or topic. BDSM is not just a sexual thrill. To many, it's a way of life.
I wish you all the best in your writing endeavors and life in general. Http:
You can contact Dr Charley through her website www.doctorcharley.com