Sexy Sex Stories Interview
Sex Blogger Dangerous Lilly
Dangerous Lilly is one of the best known sex bloggers in the industry. Known for her sharp tongue and honest reviews she is quite rightly highly respected by industry peers and fellow writers.
Lilly took some time out of her busy schedule to chat to us and offer useful advice to anyone wanting to start out as an adult blogger.
You started out as a sex blogger back in 2008
Goodness no, I'm certainly not the one of the first. Sex blogging has been going on for many years, perhaps even before the millennium! I actually wrote a post "A Brief History of Sex Blogging"
and have had others chime in with their recollections. People have been doing this for as long as there have been journaling / blogging communities!
I guess you've seen a massive change in the blogging landscape
One of the primary changes came with social media. But another great change has had the sex toy reviewing landscape - back in 2008. But today we have all the blogs dedicated to sex toy reviewing. The consumers are no longer left in the dark!
You are known for your sex toy industry. Why do you think your reviews appeal to so many? What drives you to keep writing?
I'm certainly not the most popular reviewer on the block, but for those who do my reviews. I also speak the language, so it's not uptight or boring language. Or, I try for it not to be! I'm not afraid to call out a crappy toy, and I'm less afraid to give a negative review on a popular "luxury" toy.
My blogger friends and the readers who contact me to thank me, they keep me going. That and seeing a new toy come out on the market that can not possibly be as good as others are claiming; my fingers itch to get to real truth!
Do you have a favorite review? What's your favorite toy?
I can not really pick favorites for reviews. But I do have a favorite toy, by far, it is the We-Vibe Tango. After testing dozens upon dozens
over the years, the Tango is the holy grail for my clitoris. The type of vibrations (deep and rumbling) are my perfect match and just what my body needs.
Too many vibrators out there have "surface" or "buzzy" vibrations that sound loud, but they are not deep enough to slip through. They feel itchy on higher speeds, and not really very pleasant.
Do you think you are able to influence toys? And if so how?
Me personally? No. As a collective group, the reviewers? Yes. We're the most vocal in pointing out flaws and things that could be improved upon, and we've seen manufacturers like We-Vibe and even Lelo make changes and revamps to a model.
Often the change works out and is great (like with We-Vibe products) but sometimes it's still not enough (Like with certain Lelo products). One of the stand-out manufacturers of silicone, Tantus, makes use of the bloggers by sending out prototypes sometimes to get feedback. They are the right people. More companies should do it though!
What's the best thing that's come from your time in the industry? And the worst? And Why?
The best is the people. I've gone to conferences and events and have some good people. Many people, so many like-minded open-minded people . If only I could see them more often! The worst? Looking behind the curtain. Knowing that companies can, and are, lying to consumers about the safety of their products. Knowing that there are millions of consumers that we can not reach to them, that some sex toys are toxic.
I've met so many wonderful people, so many like-minded open-minded people. If only I could see them more often! The worst? Looking behind the curtain. Knowing that companies can, and are, lying to consumers about the safety of their products. Knowing that there are millions of consumers we have yet to reach, cannot reach, to tell them that some sex toys are toxic.
The sex-bloggers community is a very tight knit group. What's it like being part of this?
We have to be tight-knit, we have to stick together. Those who are in it to make a change in the sex toy industry need to stick together to see our common goal furthered. (which I can not say I like, but it's the nature of society) and in-fighting. It's not all rainbows and daisies. We really should be supporting each other and helping each other thrive - we do not need to compete as much as we do. But as I said, it's life, we're people, and expecting everyone to get along well with everyone else is unrealistic.
As with any community, there are cliques and hierarchies (which I can't say I like, but it's the nature of society) and in-fighting. It's not all rainbows and daisies. We really should be supporting each other and helping each other thrive--we don't need to compete as much as some do, we could all achieve a lot more collectively if we worked together, helped each other out. But as I said, it's life, we're people, and expecting everyone to get along well with everyone else is unrealistic.
It's not just the bloggers who are part of the community, many retailers and manufacturers are in it too. It's.....weird. I can't think of any other niche of consumer products or blogging where the bloggers get to know the employees at companies so well, well enough that when a bunch get fired, we essentially start a picket line.
Perhaps it is because we are all such open people, many of us share a lot of ourselves with the blogging and social media and we get to know each other pretty pretty. There is diversity yet cohesion. Some days it is awesome. It's life.
Do you read erotica and if so what do you like?
I do not quite as much anymore as I used to, but I do enjoy it! I tend to have a preference for first-person narrative, and likewise realistic situations and language - less on the romantic stuff, the coy euphemisms like "rosebud". 83
If someone wanted to follow in your footsteps and start a sex blog how would you advise they start? Can you describe some pitfalls they could avoid?
They need to really think it over. It's not quite as easy as it was a few years ago. Blogger / Blogspot does not allow for affiliate links anymore, and any reviewer would want to join an affiliate program. Ditto with Wordpress.com's free blogs, they started deleting blogs
in waves for violating TOS that had existed for awhile.
So the free sites are not friendly to adult blogs. If you just want to blog and write, then you can certainly do it at Blogger. If you want to make a go at reviewing sex toys, you need to get your own domain, and self-host. You can use the Wordpress software for content management, and it's the most popular. I've written a lot of posts for fellow bloggers, advice and guides
. and even did a session at a conference
on site design and taking your blog to the next level.
What kind of things have you done to promote your blog? What has worked and what has been less useful?
Pretty much the usual. I'm active on social media like Twitter and Facebook, even Tumblr. I use Google Plus. Pinterest has not been useful for me. I just pretty much rely on the word-of-mouth. That's why it's important to write WELL and be interesting / informative / in some way unique.
You, your blog, your content - it needs to stand out. Read Dangerous Lilly's full blog here